Thursday, 8 March 2012

Aperture Science

It's been months since I saved Science, but who can resist a little Portal merchandise?

Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device:
There are only 5000 of these babies up for grabs, £100 each, 1:1 scale, LED lights, sound effects and everything. A thing of beauty, no? If you're acquainted with Aperture Science, that is. I wonder if you'd get arrested if you went into town brandishing this gun-like contraption. But remember:

Do not touch the operational end of the device. 
Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. 
Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. 
Most importantly, under no circumstances should you—

Aperture Science Long Fall... Socks: Amazon
Moving swiftly on from inconveniently-timed power drains and selectively malfunctioning artificial intelligence, according to a certain Cave Johnson, Aperture Science Long Fall Boots are 'expensive as hell', so why not make do with Long Fall Socks instead? On the other hand, I wouldn't suggest trying to land on your head wearing these, because, well, you'll probably end up landing on your head.

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